The subconscious often hides childhood trauma, but this woman found a way to reach it for healing.
Story: Monique Goulet
I grew up alongside five brothers, my mother, and an alcoholic father. When my father drank socially, his behavior was acceptable; however, he devolved into an aggressive and abusive parent after drinking too much. And with chronic use, he became an alcoholic. Unfortunately, my siblings, my mother, and I suffered the consequences of his addiction to alcohol by retaining negative thoughts and irrational beliefs and suppressing our emotions.
The impact my past traumatic experiences had on my life wasn’t obvious to me until I married and had two children of my own. Like early experiences with my father, my husband and I began having relationship problems related to our consumption of alcohol. We attended therapy sessions to learn more about habits and behaviors that lead to and facilitate alcoholism, and our therapist ultimately suggested my husband attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and that I attend Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) group therapy. After just one meeting, my spouse denied his alcoholism, citing his thriving business and day-to-day functionality.
Meanwhile, I continued to work with my ACOA group, where we discussed our issues and learned positive thoughts, rational beliefs, and how to identify and express our emotions. We all supported each other in the healing process. When our therapist invited us to attend a gestalt therapy group in Antigua, I readily accepted. While processing my grief over the deaths of multiple family members—one by hanging himself, another with poison, another in a car accident, another after years of abusing alcohol—the repressed memory of my mother’s attempt to drown me and my siblings surfaced.
The group’s attending therapists met me with compassion and encouraged me to scream away my anger, holding me while I sobbed away my grief. As I shared the story of this trauma, feelings of fear, abandonment, anger, and depression resurfaced. I discovered the traumas I experienced throughout my life were the core issues preventing wellness of my body, mind, and spirit.
I never felt I belonged in my family, so I embarked on a spiritual journey to discover my authentic self. Throughout my life, one of my greatest survival skills was my continual faith in my creator, whom I prayed to often. I participated in yoga, spiritual weekend workshops, and meditation, and I read more than 50 self-help books. My bible for healing became Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life,” which I continue to refer to whenever I need direction.
During my healing process, I became a registered nurse, addiction counselor, certified holistic nurse, Reiki master, and shaman. One day, while delivering an energy healing to one of my clients, a powerful surge of energy vibrated through my body. It scared me at first, but I learned to listen to my inner voice that told me I had transcended my inner energy in connecting directly to my creator. This was what I was searching for in my life.
Since then, I have been guided by my creator in everything I do. At 68 years old, I noticed a healthy change in my body, mind, and spirit. I was encouraged to write a book about the trauma of my childhood life and the healing process I went through. Twelve cathartic years later, at age 80, I completed “Creating a Wholesome Human Being,” bringing the pain, joy, love, and loss I had experienced all my life full circle. Through my story, I hope to help others understand the emotional, physical, and spiritual impact of traumatic experiences and share how I healed and changed my own life for the better.