Final Impressions

Bunkering down

Written by James Combs

Remembering television’s most outrageous right-wing character.

If you were alive in the 1970s, you likely remember Archie Bunker, the bigoted, blue-collar father of the sitcom “All in the Family.” Archie had a knack for mixing up phrases by using words that sounded like the intended word.

This month, we’ll take a closer look at his controversial character through the use of Archie-isms.

  • Archie lived at 704 Hauser St. in Queens, New York. His home was very plain with antiquated furniture. It was obvious he must have been an “inferior decorator.”
  • Archie, a staunch conservative, often argued with Mike Stivic, his bleeding-heart liberal son-in-law, over every topic imaginable: politics, sex, religion, women’s rights, animal crackers, grasshoppers. Sometimes, Archie wouldn’t let Mike “get in a word wedgewise.”
  • Archie was controlling of his “lawfully bedded wife” Edith, an angelic, dimwitted, and submissive woman. Sometimes, though, he showed a tender side toward her. When Edith experienced menopausal symptoms, Archie encouraged her to visit a “groin-a-cologist.”
  • Archie was not happy to learn that his newlywed daughter, Gloria, was pregnant. That’s because Mike was an unemployed college student. He felt they should’ve used “birth patrol pills.”
  • Archie was shocked after discovering his new neighbors were an African-American family with the last name of Jefferson. He was worried about his neighborhood quickly becoming a “smelting pot.”
  • Archie wasn’t too keen on people he perceived as different. However, he once unknowingly gave “mouth-to-mouth restitution” to a transvestite.
  • Archie had very little knowledge of the opposite sex. However, he did know pregnancy involves cutting of the “umbiblical cord” and that females have a deep sense of “women’s intermission.”
  • Archie always preferred the front door remain closed on chilly days because he didn’t watch to catch a bad case of “ammonia.”
  • Archie was a strict constitutionalist who believed there should be “no taxation without regimentation.”

Those who have never seen the show should watch reruns of “All in the Family,” which was the highest-rated television show for five years. The writing and acting in this groundbreaking sitcom are superb.

Fair warning, though. It’s not for people who are easily offended over politically incorrect language. If you don’t watch it for that reason, Archie would likely have two words for you.

“Good ribbance.”

About the author

James Combs

Akers Media Group's James Combs has been a staff writer for several local publications since August 2000. He has had the privilege of interviewing some of Lake County’s many fascinating residents—from innovative business owners to heroic war veterans—and bringing their stories to life. A resident of Lake County since 1986, James recently embarked on a journey to lead a healthier lifestyle. He has lost 60 pounds and walks nearly five miles a day. In his spare time, he enjoys target shooting, skeet shooting and watching his beloved Kentucky Wildcats!

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